THE LAST WEEK OF LENT: PASSION & DEATH
Our aim during the Lenten season has been to identify with Jesus in the wilderness, and to follow him, in some way, through his suffering and persecution and sacrifice. The difficulty in following Jesus, of course, is that the path leads to the cross.
Nevertheless, we have tried – tried to meditate and pray, tried to give up certain comforts and pleasures to focus our attention, tried to add other things to live more wisely, tried to repent of consumerism and take in more of the Bible, more of our relationships, more of serving others, and so on. We have tried.
I tried and failed. I failed even when I succeeded.
First of all, six weeks is a long time for me to pay attention to something. I lose steam easily (as you know if you have been keeping up on the blog). There have been moments that I forgot about Lent altogether, and upon snapping back to reality, I would sometimes have this conversation in my head: “Lent is just an observance. Jesus doesn’t really care if I eat that or write a blog post today, does he? I don’t want to be legalistic, you know.” So I found myself occasionally drifting toward the kind of carefree attitude that is not about enjoying freedom, but about indulging the flesh.
Then at other times - usually when I felt bad for indulging the flesh - I found myself taking on a more performance driven attitude. I would recommit myself to my goals, you know, which isn’t a bad thing, but it wasn’t always about identifying with Jesus. Often it has been about my righteousness. I’m a pastor. I’m the Lent-blog-guy. I gotta’ do this right.
It hasn’t all been this way. On the whole Lent has been a tremendously meaningful season for me, but not without constant threat of these two things – license and legalism – getting me off course. Neither of these produces the kind of repentance and humility that gets to the heart of Jesus. The thing is, Repentance and Humility and Suffering and Persecution and Sacrifice do not come naturally to me. Indulgence and self-righteousness do.
Lent isn’t hard because I’m forgetful or because six weeks is a long time. Lent is hard because I don’t want to die. Lent is about death, and I tend to avoid death. But the way of Jesus leads to the cross. “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23).
My shortcomings related to Lent are but a microcosm of my ragged and duplicitous self. I am far more sinful than anything I have written here. Indeed, far worse than I know. But the grace of God in Christ Jesus is far more lovely and powerful than I have ever dreamed.
Lent is pushing me toward Easter. I long for it, not so I can go back to my old ways, but because I long for a Savior - one who lived the life I should have lived and died the death I should have died.
THE WONDERFUL CROSS
When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died
My richest gain I count but loss
And pour contempt on all my pride
Oh, the wonderful cross
Oh, the wonderful cross
Bids me come and die
And find that I may truly live
SCRIPTURE READING: Mark 11
Nevertheless, we have tried – tried to meditate and pray, tried to give up certain comforts and pleasures to focus our attention, tried to add other things to live more wisely, tried to repent of consumerism and take in more of the Bible, more of our relationships, more of serving others, and so on. We have tried.
I tried and failed. I failed even when I succeeded.
First of all, six weeks is a long time for me to pay attention to something. I lose steam easily (as you know if you have been keeping up on the blog). There have been moments that I forgot about Lent altogether, and upon snapping back to reality, I would sometimes have this conversation in my head: “Lent is just an observance. Jesus doesn’t really care if I eat that or write a blog post today, does he? I don’t want to be legalistic, you know.” So I found myself occasionally drifting toward the kind of carefree attitude that is not about enjoying freedom, but about indulging the flesh.
Then at other times - usually when I felt bad for indulging the flesh - I found myself taking on a more performance driven attitude. I would recommit myself to my goals, you know, which isn’t a bad thing, but it wasn’t always about identifying with Jesus. Often it has been about my righteousness. I’m a pastor. I’m the Lent-blog-guy. I gotta’ do this right.
It hasn’t all been this way. On the whole Lent has been a tremendously meaningful season for me, but not without constant threat of these two things – license and legalism – getting me off course. Neither of these produces the kind of repentance and humility that gets to the heart of Jesus. The thing is, Repentance and Humility and Suffering and Persecution and Sacrifice do not come naturally to me. Indulgence and self-righteousness do.
Lent isn’t hard because I’m forgetful or because six weeks is a long time. Lent is hard because I don’t want to die. Lent is about death, and I tend to avoid death. But the way of Jesus leads to the cross. “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23).
My shortcomings related to Lent are but a microcosm of my ragged and duplicitous self. I am far more sinful than anything I have written here. Indeed, far worse than I know. But the grace of God in Christ Jesus is far more lovely and powerful than I have ever dreamed.
Lent is pushing me toward Easter. I long for it, not so I can go back to my old ways, but because I long for a Savior - one who lived the life I should have lived and died the death I should have died.
THE WONDERFUL CROSS
When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died
My richest gain I count but loss
And pour contempt on all my pride
Oh, the wonderful cross
Oh, the wonderful cross
Bids me come and die
And find that I may truly live
SCRIPTURE READING: Mark 11
posted by Will | 10:15 AM
4 Comments:
Just wanted to let you know that your Lenten posts have been really meaningful to me (just a random reader). I really identify with everything you have said. And it has been an encouragement and a challenge to read and consider... thanks.
Hey Will, yesterday in church you asked what we had been learning over Lent. For Lent I stopped listening to music in the car. It is perhaps a very small thing, but, for me, music can be an easy distraction to avoid thinking about stuff that I don’t want to deal with--especially in the car when it's quiet. I’ve instead been trying to talk to God about stuff that’s hard for me. There have been times where I’m like, “Yeah, I don’t want to talk about it,” and some days it’s just been really quiet. But sometimes I’ll say, this is on my mind, or I’m wrestling with this, and can you please speak truth to this thing.
In the silence of Lent I've realized that I tend to wait passively for a concern or a feeling to pass as opposed to actively taking it to Jesus. The quiet has given me room to engage with Him over junk in life instead of drowning it out with noise. I had never observed Lent before, but have been thankful for it in an uncomfortable sort of way.
Mads, thanks for sharing (though it would have been nice for me if you had said that yesterday while I was staring into the blank faces of 150 silent people :)
So great to have you in the "O"!
Haha, among other things, I need to work on timing :)
Thanks so much to you & Deb and all your peeps for the hospitality, hope to see you kids again soon!
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