About Me

I’m going to tell you something that is true. It is self-evident and supported by my testimony. Here it is: I am a very important person.

I get quite busy at times because all sorts of people need me to do things that, I suppose, they would not be able to do otherwise. I’m always thinking about things, and talking about things even more than thinking. There are very many words to be said, and people listen to what I am saying, I guess, because it is interesting or vital, which is part of what makes me an important person.

I drink Peet’s coffee because, well, it’s the best coffee you can buy. But you have to order it. Ordering coffee is very sophisticated, not unlike ordering caviar. I drink my Peet’s coffee in a Peet’s mug.

I am generally tired. You can see it in my eyes and in the way that I lay on the couch a lot. I suspect the reason is that one must unwind, as being necessary to so much is flat out exhausting.

I travel now and then, often by car, but sometimes by plane. There are people in other cities and states who need me to come there because, apparently, there is nobody in their city or state who can do what it is that I am flying there to do. It must be of immense importance for me to leave my family. I feel very special up there in the air, and especially in the airports eating $13 deli sandwiches.

People usually laugh when I say something that I think is funny. You can be funny and still be unimportant, but it is nice when important people are also funny.

Meetings. This is perhaps the most critical element of importance. I go to lots of them – prayer meetings, small group meetings, counseling meetings, business meetings, planning meetings, meetings to plan future meetings. More often than not I lead these meetings, and that is without question noteworthy.

People come to me with their problems, which makes sense I guess, because I come to me with my problems, too. It’s a lot to carry, but I do what I can.

I have an apple laptop and a wireless phone with virtually unlimited minutes. The fact that it is an apple is not relevant, but it is certainly important in a sexy sort of way. The point is that I am accessible to any number of wireless Internet locations that connect me to the world almost anytime it needs me. I check my e-mail at least a dozen times a day.

I’ve been on several short-lists, I think. Considered for this and that.

I have been the director of things.

I read books, though not as many as I would like people to think. Nevertheless, extracurricular reading is considered somewhat advanced. I quote people, and even though they are not original thoughts to me, the quoting of them at appropriate junctures makes me look smart. Over time I quote some ideas enough that they have the effect of being my own. You must agree that being thought of as smart points to my importance.

I tell impressive stories about people and events and then say something that connects me to those stories. Mere association with such things alludes to my critical role on planet earth.

I am not saying that I want to be God or something. I wouldn’t even consider it. Who would then be me?


(note: this post should be read in light of the sermon from last week: me-centered self-absorbed individualism)